Trying times

The start of this new year, 2010, has been very trying for me. We are still pressing on! I've grown accustomed to appearing graceful and serene on the outside while on the inside there is constant struggle and dismay. Its what a dear friend of mine said is known as 'duck syndrome', on top of the water the duck is moving through the water so gracefully, but just underneath, there's a struggle going on. The duck is paddling like crazy to stay afloat and move through the water.

That's the way it is with me, I'm moving along but deep down I'm battling to stay afloat. Just the past two months there were things beyond my control that needed financial attention, now it seems like I've come to a stand still, there are still things that need financial attention right at this very moment, and payday is not here. There is a very strong indication that I will be out of work from an unknown amount of time because my daughter may be having surgery soon on her dislocated hip. I work with and for her, so when she's not in school, her mom does not get paid.

Like I've said previously, we've been here before, we will make, the faith in God has to remain inspite of all the circumstances. He will never leave us alone, He will not take us to an obstacle if we can't make it through it. God is always in control.

I have been offered assistance, but I think I let pride get in the way and didn't accept it. Now, I'm kicking myself because I didn't take it. I didn't because, at the time I thought it wasn't need and everything could wait until that 'payday', but that's not the case when you are getting calls.

I'm still holding on to that faith, because I know God is in charge.

A verse I'm glad I read today: Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I hope in Him!’ ” (Lam. 3:22-24).

I'm holding on because God is working on me, I'm changing, and growing!!

More to come...