If Kerstin could...

Yeah, I'm in another one of those slumps of "what if?" or "If Kerstin could..."  Sometimes I hate these moments, and at other times, I'm hopeful.  Hopeful, because there's always a possibility, faith is like that!  Faith gives you courage.  Faith lets you know, that your "what ifs" can be possible.

Lately, I've been thinking, if Kerstin could talk, I know this little girl would be as sassy as they come, she's that already.

If Kerstin could talk, walk, sit on her own, dress herself, do the things other children do, I would not have to go to school with her everyday.  I wouldn't have to worry so much because, if something went wrong, anywhere, she could tell me!  If she could dress herself, it would not take us so long to leave the house and we wouldn't have to start hours before its time for us to leave.

If Kerstin could feed herself, there would be no need for the g-tube, the Kangaroo pump for continuous overnight feedings, all the boxes of Mic-Key sets, the bolus syringes, the feeding bags or Pedisure that has taken over a corner of our kitchen.

If Kerstin could walk, I would not have to load and unload a 59 pound wheelchair everyday, then lift her in and out of our vehicle.

If Kerstin could sit on her own, there would be no need for a car seat, she could even ride in the front seat with me.  I still may do that, once I've consulted her therapist and see if the car seat can be installed in the front passenger seat!

I could go on and on...but, there's no need to.  We are living the life we were intended to.  We are in the postition that we need to be in for this time.

If all of these things were reversed and Kerstin was another child... I would not be the person I am today.  I would not have found this voice to speak up when things are not right for children and adults with disabilities.  I would not have found the voice to be the advocate that I am.

If Kerstin had been another child...I would be silent and things would not have taken place the way they have.

I like to sing (or try) along  to these lyrics to Kerstin, she knows it and I have to always remember these words myself...

"When I see your face

There's not a thing that I would change

'Cause you're amazing

Just the way you are

And when you smile

The whole world stops and stares for a while

'Cause girl, you're amazing

Just the way you are..."

~Bruno Mars

 She is...Kerstin is amazing, just the way she is!

*After the Super Bowl last night, I knew I had to add this song, if you could have seen her smile...*

A few weeks late but, Happy New Year!

    Hello and Happy New Year!  

Kerstin is still on medical leave from school.  Not exactly sure when she will be returning.  I asked her nurse, if her doctor would advise or consider her going to school at least part time before her next appointment with him.  She gave a simple "No", the cold and flu season is upon us and he does not want her getting sick or having any kind of setback.  I completely understand.  We tend to get "cabin fever" sometimes, as we are only leaving the house maybe once a week.  It's fine, all things will happen in due time.  Her home bound services will continue until further notice.

Kerstin is continuing to heal and make great strides and for that we are thankful!

Wordless Wednesday-December 25, 2013

We met!!

     It is hard to believe that December 17th has rolled around once again.  This day 12 years ago, someone entered my life and changed it forever!

     Rewind to the moment my doctor told me that I was pregnant.  I remember being in a state of wonder.  Me?  Someone's mom?  Can I do this? That soon changed to, "what is this little person going to look like?"  What kind of personality will the little one have?   Seeing the sonogram..."It's a girl!!!" I knew that I had to be the best mom possible to this little girl growing inside of me.

Definitely a girl named Kerstin, making her way to change my world!

     Now knowing that "the little person" was a girl, I grew anxious to meet her and see her face.  I wanted to let her know just how much mommy loves her.  So a few months after the sonogram, I got to meet, Kerstin!

     December 17, 2001 was a cold and rainy day in Alabama.  3:38 p.m. Kerstin entered my world!

 We met!!! I completely fell in love with this little girl!  She changed my life in ways that I never imagined.

We and I never knew that I would be on an unexpected journey.

We met and I have come out of a shell of shyness. 

When I met Kerstin, my beautiful child, I never knew I needed her to turn my life around for the better.  I never knew I needed her to be the reason I look at the things so many people look past, or never give a second thought. 

We met and Kerstin has bought so much love to my heart and to most of the people around us.

I never knew I needed someone so loving in my life.  Kerstin is my angel, my strength and my life!

We met and my life will never be the same!!

Happy Birthday to my love!!

Just a glimpse into our life over the past 12 years. It seems as if Kerstin's birthday is synonymous with Christmas, since they are a week apart, so most of her birthday pictures are Christmas pictures. 

When I first heard the lyrics to this song are so befitting to me and out lives.  When I first heard them, I was in love with it and it just so happens to be one of Kerstins's favorite songs as well!

"For the way you changed my plans
For being the perfect distraction
For the way you took the idea that I have
Of everything that I wanted to have
And made me see there was something missing, oh yeah..."

Here's the video....enjoy!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!!!

More to come...

  

The Thoughts of Others.

     Last month, Kerstin and I were entered in a contest hosted by a local photographer.  She wanted to feature people that have faced challenges in life.  Kerstin and I were nominated because of the year we have had, and at the time her surgery that was right around the corner.

     Well friends and family secretly nominated us and we were treated to a beautiful photo session.  Felecia and I talked on the phone in order to make arrangements for the photo session and she continuously told me that she could not wait to meet me in person because she really enjoyed reading the nominations.  I was curious and told her that I could not wait to read them myself.

    Well, the blog posted and once I read the things family and friends submitted bought me to tears!  It is such a blessing to see that so many people notice the things I do everyday.  I don't do them for the attention and nominations, I do them because I have to.  Kerstin and I were placed in each others lives for a reason.  I know that I have to take care of the blessing God has place in my life!!

     I hope that you will read Felicia's blog post, Felecia's Spot "November", be sure to scroll down to our story, "Beautiful in My Eyes".  I know you will enjoy it!  Here are some of the beautiful photos we took that day.  It was an outing for us, it was the Saturday before her surgery, we were on our way to the movies to see "Free Birds".  Enjoy the photos and be sure to check out Felecia's blog and website.

We are a team!  In it to win it, whatever life hands us!!!

*All photos are courtesy of Felecia's Photography*

Wordless Wednesday 12/11/13

A Thanksgiving to remember!

     Twenty-six days after arriving in Birmingham, Alabama for Kerstin's spinal fusion, it is Thanksgiving Day 2013.  We wake up to possible snow flurries and 21 degrees of bone chilling cold!

     Today is the day that I have been waiting on.  I know with every fiber of my being that this is the last morning we will wake up in room 1046 at the Benjamin Russell Hospital for Children at Children's of Alabama!

 
 The nurses are changing shifts and not one doctor has come around like they had been coming on previous days.  Around 5:30 and 6 a.m.  I knew to be sitting up or at least awake becasue they would make their rounds and I didn't want another one of her doctors to scare me by rocking me to wake me.  Yes, that happened!!

     Finally, around 8 a.m. we got word that all of the doctors that had been following Kerstin's treatment and caring for her were in fact communicating and about to make their rounds.  First, my friend, the doctor that rocked me constantly saying "mom, mom...", came in with his team to say that Kerstin's levels were continuing to improve and since she had tolerated smaller boluses of her Pedisure the day before and even smaller of the Pedialyte the day before that, it would be safe and okay for her to go home, as long as her admitting doctor agreed.  I knew that we would be going home because her nurses had previously told us that we could go home if her amylase and lipase levels were in a safe range.  So...it's time for a HAPPY DANCE & HAPPY THANKSGIVING, Kerstin is headed home.
Our time in our "apartment" has come to an end! Truly Thankful.

     We are now home, Kerstin is healing and making great strides on her road to recovery!  I'm including some pictures of our stay at Children's and Kerstin's before and after surgery pictures.  Even her pouting Thanksgiving night.  I think she misses the attention and the "friends" she made in the hospital.

Kerstin with her the Justins!

Kerstin with "Mr. Kerstin"-Justin.

Sleeping comfortably!

One of our many evening strolls!

In the Rehab Gym-standing!!

Sitting in her chair watching stories online.

Finally in the rearview!

   

Thanksgiving night, first night home!

Hiding from the daylight!

More to come...