“What’s wrong with her?” “She’s sick.”

Raising a child with special health care needs comes with many challenges.  There are some really high highs and also some really low lows.  As parents we love our children and we see them go through so many changes as they grow and deal with the things that come with their varying diagnoses.  We want our children to enjoy life, be involved in their communities.  We want them to be able to do things with and like their peers.  You know, things like, going to the movies, shopping, out to eat, etc…  We don’t want them to be seen as wrong or sick!

I cannot count the times we have been having a good day, on outings, Target included and a child sees Kerstin in her wheelchair and they stare and will ask their parent(s), “What’s wrong with her?” “Why is she in that chair?”  Too many times I hear the parent whisper, “She’s sick.” NO!  And that is exactly what I have started to say without explanation.  When I overhear that answer, I just politely say “No.”  When a parent tells their child that there’s nothing wrong, and to speak, we usually spark a conversation.  They are receptive and seem to want their child to be as well.  It warms my heart, and I am sure the hearts of other parents of children with special needs as well, when parents of children without those needs are open and want to make sure their child speaks and understands diversity. 

Having a disability or special health care needs does not equate to sickness.  Cerebral Palsy is not a sickness, it is not contagious.  Epilepsy is not contagious.  Yes, our children get sick, so does everyone.   When a child/adult has a disability, it usually takes them longer to overcome general illnesses.  Using a wheelchair, wearing glasses, AFOs, neck supports and other assistance in NO WAY means the person is sick.  When Kerstin is sick, she definitely will not be in a restaurant, a movie theater or her beloved Target.  That is something we just do not do.  The only time she is outside of our home while sick is to go to the doctor or unfortunately when she is hospitalized.

So, when you see a family out enjoying their day just as you are and your child asks, “What’s wrong with her (him)?”  “Why is s(he) in that wheelchair?” Be sure to tell them, that nothing is wrong, she needs the chair to get around and go places, say “hi”! 

Wheelchair For A Day!!

     You know when something is constantly on your mind, you have to get it out there, so to speak.  Getting it out there can be talking about it, writing about it...whatever, however.  As long as it is o-u-t!  I made another Facebook post about the fact that Kerstin is at school, in an already snugly fit wheelchair, yet there is no another way for her to sit that is supportive.  

Very similar to Kerstin's chair!

     The beanbag she used for years before moving on to middle school is now flattened.  We were told by the special ed coordinator that "if it was purchased with special education funds, it can be used by any student".  Kerstin being the only user of that beanbag was NOT a problem until I went to the newspaper on the horrible accessible issues at the school.  Never-mind the fact that Kerstin and one other child were the only ones in wheelchairs.  He wasn't in attendance much this past school year.  Nonetheless, I was able to borrow a Tumble Form chair from CRS.  Kerstin used that chair until she went home on medical leave, prior to her spinal fusion.   

    After surgery, Kerstin had extra inches and pounds on her and quickly outgrew the borrowed chair!!  We've been seeking funding and sources for a chair that is big enough for her now.  It's coming soon, like the newly ordered wheelchair, they take a little time.  

     The back-story came to say once again...if these school leaders were in or had to be in wheelchair all the time...how would they handle things?  No other seating option.  No way to get out of the chair unless she is being changed!  NO, Kerstin will NOT be in attendance for the entire school day without another way to sit!  You know once I said that, letters are needed!  I already saw that one coming!  

Therapy/changing table.  Can't sit here unsupported!

     Kerstin's ortho specialist said something that I will not forget.  At her appointment last month when we were talking about school and seating, he said "It seems like so many people in our schools have lost all common sense."  That was powerful!  I haven't been seeing much common sense lately.  The people within her school system that seem to have it are often treated badly, and please don't form a decorum with Kerstin's mom.  Some have questioned how one could be nice to me after my going to the media.  Makes me laugh!  

     "Wheelchair For A Day!"  I would be willing to do the leg work to find chairs for a day.  Would the superintendent, special education coordinator, all central office administrators, and every board member be willing participants in "Wheelchair For A Day?  Our friends in the media will also be invited!

Inclusion!  That means,  YOU try a Wheelchair For A Day.  Share your experiences!

About Last Week

     Last Tuesday, Kerstin had another spinal fusion follow up appointment.  Everything went well, really well.  The fusion is going well. Kerstin is healing, the screws and rods are in place. There were a few questions for the doctor.  

     Lately, Kerstin has been drawing her left leg up excessively and it appears that stretch marks are coming because of the constant pull or bend.  She also hangs this left off the side of her wheelchair. Hanging leg off the chair is pretty much a comfort thing.  Since Kerstin is not a walker, her kneecaps are not in place as they would be had she been a walker.  Doctor Killian informed us that there has not been a successful surgery that would be worth performing to correct it.  

     The dysplasia of her right hip has not changed, there is no arthritis there or in her knees.  Always a good sign, and I'm very thankful for that.  Even better, he tells us that Kerstin is done with orthopedic surgeries!  He will continue to watch her hip, but as he stated "she's done with ortho stuff"!  That was great news because on July 23, 2013 at her follow up from the bilateral triple arthodesis (fun to say), we found out that the curve of her spine had increased to the point of needing surgery. This appointment, all great news!

    We are still waiting on the new wheels to come, should be approaching any day now.  She is snug as a bug in her current chair.  Kerstin's physical therapist sent a letter to the doctor requesting that Kerstin get a Hensinger neck support.  She's been tilting her head a great deal since the surgery.  Brenda (PT) said that when a child has scoliosis, they tend to tilt their heads to compensate for the leaning that is caused by the curve.  Once surgery is performed to correct the back, they still have the head tilt.  The neck support will help to strengthen muscles in her neck and hopefully, she will eventually hold her neck/head up better. 

Hensinger Neck Support

     We also got a prescription for a Tumble Form chair so that Kerstin can have another seating arrangement when she's at school, that's not in her wheelchair.   There was a beanbag that she had access to but, pettiness with/ from school leaders/administrators changed that.  The beanbag was flattened within weeks of the last school year starting.  Larger children that have mobility and limb usage had access to the bag and it became of no use for Kerstin in it's pancake like state.  She had a Tumble Form, but quickly outgrew it after the spinal fusion stretched her, no complaints there. 

Large Tumble Form

X-Large Tumble Form

Tumble Form chair with wheels.

     So, Kerstin will continue therapy! Follow up with orthopedic specialist only if/when needed until next scheduled appointment.  Lovely!!!



More to come...