“What’s wrong with her?” “She’s sick.”

Raising a child with special health care needs comes with many challenges.  There are some really high highs and also some really low lows.  As parents we love our children and we see them go through so many changes as they grow and deal with the things that come with their varying diagnoses.  We want our children to enjoy life, be involved in their communities.  We want them to be able to do things with and like their peers.  You know, things like, going to the movies, shopping, out to eat, etc…  We don’t want them to be seen as wrong or sick!

I cannot count the times we have been having a good day, on outings, Target included and a child sees Kerstin in her wheelchair and they stare and will ask their parent(s), “What’s wrong with her?” “Why is she in that chair?”  Too many times I hear the parent whisper, “She’s sick.” NO!  And that is exactly what I have started to say without explanation.  When I overhear that answer, I just politely say “No.”  When a parent tells their child that there’s nothing wrong, and to speak, we usually spark a conversation.  They are receptive and seem to want their child to be as well.  It warms my heart, and I am sure the hearts of other parents of children with special needs as well, when parents of children without those needs are open and want to make sure their child speaks and understands diversity. 

Having a disability or special health care needs does not equate to sickness.  Cerebral Palsy is not a sickness, it is not contagious.  Epilepsy is not contagious.  Yes, our children get sick, so does everyone.   When a child/adult has a disability, it usually takes them longer to overcome general illnesses.  Using a wheelchair, wearing glasses, AFOs, neck supports and other assistance in NO WAY means the person is sick.  When Kerstin is sick, she definitely will not be in a restaurant, a movie theater or her beloved Target.  That is something we just do not do.  The only time she is outside of our home while sick is to go to the doctor or unfortunately when she is hospitalized.

So, when you see a family out enjoying their day just as you are and your child asks, “What’s wrong with her (him)?”  “Why is s(he) in that wheelchair?” Be sure to tell them, that nothing is wrong, she needs the chair to get around and go places, say “hi”!