There's a saying that goes something like you don't know about a person's life until you've had the opportunity to walk a mile in their shoes. Basically, until you have had to go through what the next person has gone through, you don't have a complete understanding of what they deal with each day. This is especially true when it comes to understanding what a family is dealing with when they are raising a child with special needs. Oftentimes, when raising a child with a disability, things don't happen as easily or as quickly as they usually would. Nor do they happen as others traditionally think that they should happen. I've seen post after post on blogs and articles where parents of children with disabilities wanting people to understand them. Just because they have a child with special needs doesn't mean that they want a life where they don't have the constant worry about their child(ren). This life, of raising a child with special needs does require dedication and a tough skin. There is also a facade that shows extreme strength. Underneath it all, we need someone to listen to us, to be there and just to understand. Her wheels...my shoes...you can't understand what we have to go through unless you've done it. I can guarantee you that most families raising children with special needs don't want others to sympathize or feel sorry for them. We truly want understanding, and a little compassion! When we're a little behind for an appointment, school or other things, know that it is not intentional! Think about our situation. It is not one of those that I can say to Kerstin, go get your shoes, your clothes, or get dressed, eat your food, brush your teach...take your meds. I have to do all of that for her! Then, I have to do them for myself. Let's also add in the factor of a sometimes spastic child. Dressing is little more difficult. When the journey is understood, it means more than you even realize. Take a stroll in her tracks and a walk in my shoes! Tell us about your journey...
Some people just don't understand! Remember DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince's "Parent Just Don't Understand"? In the song from 1988, Will (The Fresh Prince) talks about how parents are all the same, all across the land...they just don't understand their kids. He goes on and on about how his mom made, in his opinion bad choices about the style of clothes and many other things parents and their children did not agree on.
This post isn't about parents misunderstanding their children or vice versa. Like the subject states, "Some People Just Don't Understand". As we all are pretty much aware, the very arrogant Kanye West went on a rant at one of his recent concerts and basically demanded that everyone in the audience stand in his honor. He apparently became offended when some patrons did NOT stand, not because they didn't want to but because they couldn't! This fact had to be verified by his (Kanye's) handlers. Shameful! No national outrage of this man's ignorance. This story didn't make it's rounds on the evening news. However, parents of children with disabilities and adults living with disabilities were very much outraged! I know I was and still am! My daughter loves music and I know, if she could she would be dancing and singing to her favorite tunes! The actions Kanye showed at his concert and the blatant arrogance he showed after the fact is often expressed by many, in more subtle ways. So many people say things that shows that they have no full understanding of what it is like to live with a disability or to care for a person with one. When you factor that in, it is, as a presenter said at a conference I recently attended, ignorance. Ignorance is when there is a lack of knowledge. We have all been ignorant to many things in life. You have no knowledge of something until you learn about it. So, why was Kanye still ignorant on the entire audience standing? That was both ignorance and arrogance. What do you call it when you're in church(es) and you hear things like "you're not blessed" or "if the Lord's done anything, you should stand..."? I'm not sure, and I don't care what the world thinks the Lord has or hasn't done for me. I will continue to sit with and beside my daughter and many others that cannot stand in the face of those that just don't understand or just don't care! So, Kanye and preachers and church folk around the world, the little music lover in the picture below, isn't able to stand on her own right now, she is beyond blessed and loved. Her mom (me) is her biggest fan and number one supporter...I sit with her and stand for her and I am a voice for her!
