Support!

     I will tell anyone, Kerstin has so many moms and grandmas out there.  I often think about "Lily Owens" from "The Secret Life of Bees".  By the end of the book and movie, Lily has found so much support from her former housekeeper now friend and the Boatwright sisters, that she feels she is the luckiest girl in the world to have so many "moms".  Kerstin has her beat!!  It means so much to have so many caring women in our lives.   Yesterday, I even posted on Facebook, how it means so much to receive invaluable support, advice and prayers. Post here.  That means so much more when it comes from women, especially older women that truly understand what we younger women and moms are dealing with. 

     Kerstin has motherly/grand-motherly figures seems like wherever we go!  She has an aunt, Regina, that will tell anyone that, "Mattisa gave birth to Kerstin but, I'm her mom!"  She has been supportive in ways that could take a blog post or two to explain.  Kerstin loves her T-Gina!  I have another sister, Joan, she's Kerstin's and my go to for anything medical especially after hours.  We love her for that, even though Kerstin seems to be annoyed by her sometimes.   I know there's divine intervention when you least expect it.  My sisters were lead into areas of higher learning because of their interest but also because it would be needed in our family.  I am eternally grateful for them and their knowledge.  When I don't know what to say or do in some situations, they step right in and on time!

     When Kerstin has gone to school over the years, there are so many motherly figures.  Not all the women we've encountered have been kind but, this is NOT about them.  We have had some tell me on cold days, "Make sure you have Kerstin wrapped up."  Or, "Make sure Kerstin has on her hat and gloves..."  I've even been called some days with her at school moms telling me "Don't bring Kerstin to school, there seems to be a virus going around."
Taking her to therapy, her therapist know that she's going to have her nails polished and when she doesn't, I get "Why aren't her nails done?"  Leaving me to explain that I've usually taken the polish off late the night before and just hadn't re-polished yet.  

     Cannot forget about her "grandmas"  and "aunts", that are not even related...my moms friends, always asking how their baby is doing.  They always send encouraging words via my mom to me, "Tell Mattisa to hang in there and be strong."  Kerstin has love from every corner of this country it seems, from California, to Texas, to Michigan, to Virginia and beyond.  THANK YOU, from our corner in Alabama!

     All of your support does not go unnoticed!  It means more than I can began to explain!  

     So, to all you supportive women in our lives:

"I don't tell you often enough how much we appreciate the time and the care and the love you give us.  But today we want you to know how special you are and that we will always remember everything you've done for US!"

We appreciate YOU!!

THANK YOU,

Last day of school...

So, here we are!  Kerstin's last day of school until after surgery, which is probably January.  The plan was to go around to all of her teachers and classmates to tell them to have a safe Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  Didn't work out!  I did not want to get too emotional and she notices, she senses my emotions and would have cried all the way home.  One of her friends since Pre-K overheard a conversation I was having with one of the teachers and looked at me like she wanted to cry.  She is such a sweet girl, and has always been so sweet to Kerstin and me.

What we did instead was said our "see you later's" to her teachers in the hall.  They all wished her well and speedy recovery.  Even exchanged numbers to check in on her!  It is truly a blessing to have TEACHERS that really care for their students' well-being, wish their supervisors and administrators were as caring but, that's a post for another day!  Wouldn't you know that Kerstin did NOT leave school empty handed either!  Her school's nurse gave her night gowns to be warm and comfy, her teacher and speech pathologist gave us a goodie bag with pajamas, slippers, glove and ear muff set, socks for Kerstin and had a magazine, hot cocoa, Cokes, snacks, lotion, hand sanitizer.  Must say that we have been truly blessed  with so many supportive people.  The blessings have come in mail, via UPS and from church.  Comfort items and monetary support.  It all means so much, more than the supporters will ever know!!

So, we are here, no more school until January.  Eleven days before surgery!  Please continue to pray with us for Kerstin's strength, safety and healing.

More to come...

Coming to terms? Not really!

     Well, I thought I was "coming to terms" with the idea of Kerstin's upcoming surgery...now 25 days away.  This is not exactly the case.  It seems the closer it gets the more stressed I become.  I'm feeding her and fighting back the tears because all I can think about is, "How will they have her laying while they perform the surgery on her back?"  "How out of it will she be once the surgery is over?"  "Will she be in much pain?"  So many questions, that I don't have the answers to.  I do know that her surgery will be no less than three hours, meaning it will be some time before I will be able to see her once they take her back. She will be given anesthesia, it has to kick in before they can start, she will be in surgery for a few hours, then in recovery before I can see her.  After that she will be in the pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) for at least the first night afterwards.

     Everything is becoming so real now that all of the doctor's offices are calling to remind us of the many pre-op appointments she has coming up.  There is a full day ahead of us this coming Monday.  The day will start with an x-ray of her spine followed by a CT of Thoracic and Lumbar spine, first ever visit to a pulmonologist, a follow up with neurology all followed by APASS (Anesthesia Pre-Admit Screening Service).  What a day it will be!

     I'm praying daily for the strength to carry on, but I feel so weak and helpless at times.  When she's moaning and I don't know what is going on or what I can do to console her and make it better.  When her arms or legs are shaking and there's nothing I can do to stop it.  No matter what I do at that very moment, nothing seems to help...there's nothing I can do but cry and pray!  It is very hard, most of the time.  No matter what's going on, how I feel...it seems like there's no break, no sick days for me!  So, I press forward.

Home away from home, in a few weeks. 

 
More to come...